#1 Consumer

A couple of weeks ago our financial planner asked us what sort of emotion fueled our purchases. I took a moment to reflect; when I'm happy I buy stuff because I feel good and it feels like a reward; when I'm sad I buy stuff to cure whatever sadness I'm trying to overcome; when I'm mad I buy out of revenge. Not a good path - right? Buying less and saving more has always been a struggle. Over time I've learned to identify behaviors in my life that I find less than satisfying and to trace the origin of what void they filled (at one point), and therefore were learned. I find that the only way I can change my behavior is to unlearn something negative and replace it with something positive. But this is easier said than done.

I have these vivid memories of my mom pulling me out of school when I did well on a test and would take me to the mall to go shopping. This is coupled with memories of my mom going to TJ max when she was mad at my dad...to go shopping. There is no sense reliving every incident, but it is clear that emotional spending was something that I grew up with. I learned that shopping directly contributes to mental health and I've been practicing these unhealthy habits ever since. My mom was also a collector. OF EVERYTHING. German STEIFF bears from my dad's travels, King Henry the VIII dolls, vintage board games, cookie jars, picture frames, tupper ware... I think I'll stop here - you get the picture. I was a collector too. Barbies, beanie babies, polly pockets, glass figurines, my littlest pet shop, Disney movies, etc. Somehow in the middle I crossed the lines and came to equate MORE with BETTER. If one beanie baby is good, then 10 beanie babies must be better. I've carried this consumerism baggage with me my whole life and still struggle to overcome this correlation today. If one pair of lululemon yoga pants fit well, then I should probably buy more. This color of red lipstick is good, but I should probably keep buying more in case there is a better one. If I like one pair of Tory Burch flats than wouldn't I like five pairs even more?

Inevitably a Friday night will come along where I'm frustrated with my bulging closet and drawers that barely close and I binge. I throw away, I de-clutter, and I vow to remember that one is good and more is not better. This is such a waste but emotionally I'm satisfied for the moment.

But then next week I go to Target and think - I liked the white t-shirt I bought last time, I should probably buy a few more. WHY?!

Why am I regurgitating all of this? Will writing it bring me honesty and heal this binge buying? Will others reading it make me feel more accountable? Maybe. Maybe not. Unlearning how to be America's #1 consumer is hard. I'm a sucker for shopping and I'm a product marketers dream come true. Put it in a cute box, tell me it's all natural or say that it's on sale and it will be in my cart before you can blink. I know it will take a long time to stay committed to less = more and reduced spending and increased saving. But nonetheless, there is counter balancing and ever conflicting guilt after buying and the joy of having spent.

Maybe I can start a collection of healthy thoughts? That's a joke. Seriously, it's hard...


https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1ydnyff1JIdm24YEnrRl2qHQYi8Teyf6g

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